Wednesday Afternoon: Do you Trust Me?

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TRIX: Mouse, come on over here.

(Cut to Trix and Christine at centre stage. The stage curtains are closing in front of them, and they are alone on the stage. Trix fiddles with a computer at the synth station while she talks)

TRIX: I want to try something with you, Mouse. Do you trust me?

CHRISTINE: Um…well…

TRIX: Just so. Exactly. You find yourself transplanted to an existing community, where we already trust each other and you can’t be expected to just flow into that without some help.

(Trix turns to Christine, holding up a long strip of fabric. She moves behind Christine, while Christine twists to see)

CHRISTINE: What is that?

TRIX: Trust me.

(Trix presses up against Christine’s back while she ties the fabric as a blindfold over Christine’s eyes)

CHRISTINE: Um, I don’t…I’m not comfortable.

TRIX: I know. Discomfort precedes learning. Can you handle it? Will you suspend your mistrust, for a little while?

CHRISTINE: You’re asking a lot.

TRIX: I know. Do you consent?

CHRISTINE: Uh, provisionally. Okay?

(Trix takes Christine’s hand as music starts)

TRIX: Let me be your eyes.

(Trix leads Christine in a slow dance around the stage to the music. Gradually she increases the speed. Christine stumbles.)

TRIX: It’s okay. Stay with it.

(Trix sings along with the music, gradually speeding her pace. A dancer emerges from the shadow and Trix passes Christine to her. The other dancer leads her in a light skip around some equipment and around the stage, passing her to another dancer. Christine finds herself turned, twirled and led around a circle of dancers. See her steps lighten, her confidence increase, her steps more sure. As she speeds up with the rhythm in circle, Christine smiles and moves fluidly. Trix takes her hand, twirls her once and stops her as the music closes. The other dancers back into the shadows. Christine stands blindfolded at centre stage)

TRIX: How do you feel?

CHRISTINE: Light-headed. Surprised.

TRIX: Surprised?

CHRISTINE: I wouldn’t have thought I could go so fast, trust all those different people not knowing who they are – I’m just…

(Trix whisks off the blindfold. Christine blinks, looking around)

CHRISTINE: There were other people here, right?

TRIX: Let the wonder be. You’ve got the freedom in you, you just need to get over yourself and let it flow. You can be with people without even knowing them. You can trust them in the music whether you trust them in real life or not. Take that into your body, Mouse. Feel what that felt like, and call it up every time you step on this stage. Okay?

CHRISTINE: I’ll try.

TRIX: I know you will. That’s why I’m not worried. Yet.

CHRISTINE: Maybe I’m just not very good.

TRIX: I don’t care. If you’re not very good, be not very good very well. Just do what you do, bring it to my stage, share it out for the ones who need what you do in front of their faces. That’s our privilege and our responsibility. Not to claim we’re great, or perfect, or doing it right. Not to brag or show off or admit or feel shame. Not to compare to what someone else brings, which is irrelevant, or to an ideal, which only proves ignorance. The power to shake off those veils and stand naked and dance anyway – that is something to aspire to! Even if it takes a lifetime. We owe what we bring to the world, we owe it as payment for the privilege of being alive, here, now.

CHRISTINE: Who do I owe? I don’t owe anyone. I didn’t ask to be alive.

TRIX: You must have.

CHRISTINE: You’re getting esoteric. If I decide to hide my light under a bushel, isn’t that my own business?

TRIX: If you believe it is, it is. I only offer you an opportunity to live fully. I wonder if you’ve asked yourself why that upsets you?

CHRISTINE: Because I care what other people think. I care what I think. I care about being good, and winning, and having people who want to see me play, and people who want to play with me, because I rock! I care, and if I can’t pull it off I feel like a fool, and that hurts me, physically. It hurts my bones. It hurts my veins. It hurts my skin. It makes the light too bright and the noise too loud and I would do almost anything to avoid that feeling.

TRIX: So don’t have it.

CHRISTINE: How’s that different from what I’m saying?

TRIX: I’m saying, just put yourself out there and skip over the feeling. Don’t have it. You’re saying that you avoid that terrible sinking feeling by not bringing your best, so that when people judge you wanting, you can always console yourself that they didn’t see your best.

CHRISTINE: That is not what I said.

TRIX: That’s what I heard. That’s what I see.

(The two stare at each other)

TRIX: Do you need a ride home?

CHRISTINE: I can’t go home. Chris isn’t even returning my calls.

TRIX: Timeless is a program for displaced youth. You can’t stay here indefinitely, you know.

CHRISTINE: I know. I don’t have anywhere to go.

TRIX:  You can return to Chris.

CHRISTINE: I don’t know. Not just for a place to stay.

TRIX: You’ve had a spat, but surely it hasn’t come to that. You will talk, and remember why you gave up your life to be here with him.

CHRISTINE: I don’t even know if he’s there. Can’t I just stay here tonight?

TRIX: I can’t babysit you, Mouse, and I can’t take you with me.

CHRISTINE: Why not?

TRIX: For one thing, you haven’t got a stitch to wear. It’s not like I can lend you appropriate clothes. But seriously, I’m working. These parties aren’t for fun. No one has fun at them, that’s not the point. I bring you, I gotta worry about what you’re saying and doing.

CHRISTINE: I didn’t realize I was such a liability.

TRIX: I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. It’s hard to work with friends around, surely you’ve found that. I need to be on, aware, focused. You’d distract me.

CHRISTINE: Fine, I’ll hang out in the Bunkers.

TRIX: I’m not so sure you should be doing that. I mean, your little performance last night was impressive – ah, did you think I didn’t see it? Now you know how I was so certain you have the freedom in you. And yes, it’s good for you to get comfortable with the team, it’s just…you’re so…

CHRISTINE: So what?

TRIX: I don’t know. So strangely armoured. Like you have armour all over, but your tender spots show. These boys are getting trained into civility, but they come from rough backgrounds, and humans are like dogs – even the tame ones can turn on you.

CHRISTINE: I can take care of myself.

TRIX: I’ll take your word for it.

 

 

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